I just came across a small sliver of paper that I had used as a bookmarker during this past semester of substituting.  I actually had about three of these that I moved from book to book, only retiring them when there were fully covered in scrawled notes to myself recounting my favorite overheard exchanges between students.  Once I learned to laugh with the kids, the job got a whole lot cooler.  

Here's what was written on this one, with some minor embellished details that I couldn't fit on the paper at the time, but remember somewhat clearly:

"Yo, don't mess with that turtle.  He bite you."

"Ain't no turtle gonna bite me."

"Yo, I'm telling you.  I got bit by a turtle once.  That's why I'm always biting my nails."

"Why?"

"'Cause a turtle bit me!"

"Um, we looking for some geese. [Points to ditto.] That a geese."

"They all geese."

"Well that a geese that chase you."

"Where's your homework?"

"Oh, you know...I just came off being sick and my eyes ain't working right and all..."

"Damn yo - I'd hate to be an animal.  Lying around all day, doing nothing, waiting to be fed.  Damn, yo."